JouJou Loves You

†††

2012-02-01T16:56:00.006-05:00

Glowing in these good graces again.
The highs come at such a dangerous price.

It seems I've become a hustler with an endless supply of 'funds'.
I'll keep bleeding.
To feed.
This need.
What greed.

A wild thing, the loudest thumping drum.
Pulsing and pacing.
Panting from racing.
And yes I do this shiet for the fun.

The wild is my home so I feign protection.
Others deem me insane as they concern themselves with safety lessons.
I'd rather die than play a role in their pretend life sessions.

So I watch and I listen.
Study, observe, pick and choose with subtraction and love addition.

She's sinning as soon as she saunters over.
She knows what he wants.
How could she not?

A flip of the hair, a bat of the eye.
A nibble of the lip and they already know they'll believe every single lie.

The classic story of
Girl meets Guy.

JouJou Loves You

†

2012-01-31T18:44:00.008-05:00

I never wondered.
I never cared to look behind me, well, to look behind anyone else really, until now.

Now I'm like a bum in a dumpster.
I've jumped over and in.
Digging through everything I can.

Shiet is dirty.
It smells.
Decomposing bodies.
Arms.
Legs.
Hearts.
Strewn about.

Liars.
Cheaters.
Thieves.
You're all animals.
Monkeys to be more specific.

I was too once.
Back there when I was with him.
A net with no hook.
An empty heart, a blank look.

Now I love you and I'm digging in your trash.
It isn't enough that we came all this way.
It doesn't matter that we're both in this to stay.

Blood boils...heart strings recoil and I'm trying so hard not to pillage and plough.
Left over lovers displayed on page covers....
My quest for honesty, integrity, truth has changed my compass and just like that I've turned into a master sleuth.
I'm very much my father's daughter.

So I gaze and I ponder.
Piece together and wonder...
Although I already know the truth.

I know I don't own you.
Won't even pretend that I really even know you.
You came here alone as did I.
So lets fucking anchor or flap those wings and fly.
It's past the point of playing...now we on that ride or die.

JouJou Loves You

†

2012-01-30T12:33:00.003-05:00

And suddenly I was back there again.
A click of the mind, a press of the hand.
Travelers always love 'coming home'.

Tip toe? More like I've thrown my entire body over the line.
Considering the explosions that occur, no one can blame me.
He's flashing lights that change colors with hands that always search for me under covers.

JouJou Loves You

† Wonderland †

2012-01-25T16:37:00.005-05:00

I was pulled then I followed.
Yanked my chain as you became a madman on the quest for fame.

Left my throne, tossed my crown.
Ran away from the palace because I wanted to be more like that blonde chick they call Alice.

And oh my, that land was filled with wonder.
Sandstorms and love tsunamis.
Pussies that talked back and batshit crazy, druggie kamikazes.

I acclimated quite nicely.
Set up shop, connected dots, and relished in the fact that once again I could hear love's thoughts.
I knew shit was crazy, and I didn't care.
I would have walked straight into hell if I knew that He resided there.

But see, the one I loved couldn't hack it.
Forced me to stand by and watch as he smoked that dank, sipped that drink, and swallowed those beans.
In this Wonderland of the free, his pipe replaced all and really how mad could I be?
I was the one that left my land, left my throne and said 'No longer am I Queen.'

Weightless with no crown, I floated as a commoner.
Followed my love through breakdowns, binges, and wandering eyes.
But somehow that deep soul voice kept telling me that I was his one and only real prize.

Mama please help me in this land because that voice just can't be wrong.

I feel what I feel,I know what I know.
But still if I see that mothaf*cka named Cupid, I'm beating the shit out of him then stomping on his bow.

He's been known to make mistakes.
Now I'm love stung from that arrow and the poison has seeped deeper.
Took a wrong turn, got high and dumb off of this ether.

So now I look for that one that can suck the poison out.
They call him the shaman, the healer.
'Are you sure he can do what you say he can and he just isn't a really bomb ass dope dealer?'

"No little one, you are not allowed to do drugs here.
Just a lot of magic, a late rabbit, and the one you love's bad habits.

He's created this world and you let yourself fall right in.
We must admit that whenever you think about leaving, the Wonderland's lights flicker and dim.

So think long and hard of your departure.
Because once you leave you cannot return.
The Creator will make sure of it, every link to the other side will be burned.

Either choice is not wrong.
You will learn either way.
Whether weak or strong, whether you go or you stay.

So make the right choice for you.
Don't be hasty but don't take too long.
And remember...love can come again if you leave darkness and enter the land of the dawn."

JouJou Loves You

† C'est Moi †

2012-01-25T06:12:00.005-05:00

I wasn't born with a silver spoon dangling from my lips.
My father and mother were not millionaires, in fact I'm an orphan who had parents and then lost them.
I have no idea how to 'make a life'.
Sometimes I feel like a pretty shitty adult who will always live within the confines of eternal youth.
I don't worry much about the future like others do, but I worry just enough not to be worried.
I'm not 'physically perfect'.
I worry about pounds and if my hair is shiny enough just like every other girl.
I wonder if I'll find true love and my heart has been broken.
I wonder if my love for my own identity, my own space will overrule my desire for a partner.
I know enough to know that I don't know enough and I'll always be on this quest for wisdom...knowledge.
I can be horrid at paying bills on time and I don't even want to know what my credit score is.
I've never been able to be folded up into a pretty shiny box and that makes me wildly happy.
I'm either OCD clean or live among beautiful things strewn all across my room.
I don't look 'good on paper' but goddamn do I look stunning on canvas.
I know where I've been and I have not yet decided where I am going but when I do I know that I'll travel at the speed of light.
I've loved hard and not at all.
I've risen high and died from the fall.

But damn do I feel beautiful and on my way every f*cking day.

JouJou Loves You

† Shoes Make Everything Alright †

2012-01-23T13:33:00.007-05:00

I'll be PRANCING around like a f*cking PONY.

Dolce Vita/Pretty Pennies does it right.

Find them in all their 6inch glory at

PRETTY PENNIES

JouJou Loves Pretty Pennies

†

2012-01-22T19:53:00.003-05:00

Phosphenes abound when you walked into my life.
This vision changed as did I.

I never measured the simple pleasures.
And every time I was against your naked skin it was as if I was rummaging through buried treasures.

Emeralds and rubies, diamonds and pearls.
Like a chest full of jewels to an enamoured little girl.......

JouJou Loves You

2012-01-21T17:07:00.002-05:00

hipsterporn.org

These vacant bodies frighten me.

Give me the heebie jeebies.
I feel the nervous banter hit my person and I'm spent.

I don't want to hear anymore.
Stop trying to interest me.
If it didn't happen then, it sure as hell isn't going to happen anytime after.

Don't blend.
I want a punch in the mouth.
A slap across the cheek.
I want to be stung.
Yank me.

I didn't come here to play nice but I'll always be kind.
My walls are covered, maybe even cluttered.
Exactly what I've wanted.
Disarray and disorder.

This life is my opus.
A steady stream of dreams realized and maintained.
You see it and feel it, that's why you're steady trying to f*ck with my mind frame.
Have you checked your pulse lately?

Flip the switches you dead b*tches!!!!
Turn it on and turn it up!
EXPRESS YOSELF.
Feel things.
See things.
Do things.

LIVE.

JouJou Loves You

† F*ck YES †

2012-01-21T16:22:00.002-05:00

†

2012-01-21T15:50:00.000-05:00

† One night with Fabian †

2012-01-20T16:11:00.001-05:00

JouJou Loves You

†††

2012-01-20T15:57:00.000-05:00

† Oh yes I did †

2012-01-19T20:21:00.001-05:00

†

2012-01-18T13:53:00.001-05:00

"I'm just going to George Michael that shit & have faith."

-Me

JouJou Loves You

†

2012-01-18T02:51:00.003-05:00

Then at midnight...everything changed.

These eyes, this heart.

She went away and another came.

Pushed out.

Rearranged.

Only for the sake of living.

Time to climb over little one, no more under.

I cringe at the thought of it.

I so badly wanted it all.

JouJou Loves You

† FINALLY!! †

2012-01-17T15:10:00.001-05:00

† OUI †

2012-01-17T06:08:00.001-05:00

††††

2012-01-17T00:57:00.002-05:00

Michael Fassbender

He makes my insides ache.

I watched Jane Eyre AGAIN this evening.

I don't even have anything to write after seeing it...and seeing him.

JouJou Loves You

†††

2012-01-15T18:36:00.004-05:00

Collapsed.
Stranger in the face of danger again.
Can't go away, but don't want to stay either.
Obsession.
With her.
Always and only with her.
Eternal youth.
I can't grow up because you're not here to make me.

Frozen forever in time that night.
Come to think of it, so was the feeling of fright.
I've been trying to nurse myself ever since.

You've made everyone obsolete.
I thought I found you again in him.
I remember the feeling when we were all together.
I've never felt closer.

You say I'm perfect, untouched, 'like the snow'.
What ails me is your absence.
My broken wing hasn't healed.
So don't you see?
I can't fly, won't even attempt to try.

I want you.
Here.
In front of me.
I'm supposed to be happy without you?
All I want is you.
You who gave me life, this body, this mind.
Here to bury my face in your auburn hair.
Here to hold your hand and revel in your skin.
Here to talk and giggle.
Here to hover and mother.

So I'll wander more.
I'll attempt to love.
Then I'll leave.
Because the only answer to these burning questions that were left when you went away is 'grieve'.

JouJou Loves You

†

2012-01-15T17:57:00.001-05:00

††† Holy †††

2012-01-15T03:57:00.000-05:00

†

2012-01-11T22:00:00.003-05:00

Praise and worship.
Chase and court it.
I wish these issues were my only mistress.

But my soul still clenches when I see him.
Got these other men tryin' to be him.
Daddy got that A game, that natural born fame.
That pony swag got me wantin' to brag.

Day and night.
Night and day.
Killed the sun and became the only one....
to shine down on me.

F*ck the rest.

I see you sweatin' me, frontin' like you're protectin' me, it is what it is and what it isn't so just let it be.
Social status-love status, undercover lovers laced with money makin' covers got me feeling like I'm the baddest bitch there ever was without another.

Hidden over there but exposed underwear leaves every man blind so I rob them from behind.
Attempting to worship at my altar but they don't even know that obtaining me is harder then swimming the straits of Gibraltar.

Cat eyes tell lies of alibis so that I can keep them. I'll say I love you during the week, then leave you for the Weeknd.
Because that's my love and that's my life, every day damn they inform me that my destiny is to be their wife.

Nah...that ain't me.
But for you...for you, maybe.

JouJou Loves You

†

2012-01-11T20:20:00.002-05:00

Robert Redford filming 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid'

One of my favorite films.

JouJou Loves You

† So GOOD †

2012-01-11T20:00:00.001-05:00

†

2012-01-11T19:41:00.003-05:00

A friend inbox'ed this to me, said she was my twin, minus the tan.

Funny.

I want two lions to snuggle with. Dang.

JouJou Loves You

†

2012-01-11T19:39:00.000-05:00

JouJou Loves You

††††

2012-01-10T13:44:00.007-05:00

The dark side of glory.
Rearranging my stories.
What will become of me?

I hopped the tracks.
After all that time walking on that side I left it all behind to chase a voice that was calling me.

Why?
What was it for?
A favor?
Was it planned?
Did we know before we got here that I would respond this way?
I know they're watching me.

I thought I had become tame.
I'm more wild than ever.
I used to be so good at taking care of myself.
Cautious.
Thoughtful.

Then reckless walked through the door and I ran to it with wild abandon.
I know why.
I know how.

I need you to stand on the other end.
I can't do it alone.
So high, then crashes down low without you.
Be with me.
Keep me steady.
I trust you enough to let me go when I need to rise, and I respect you enough to bring me back down when it's time.

JouJou Loves You

†

2012-01-08T18:59:00.005-05:00

'Come back.'
Don't let it all run together.
Separate.

My colors have faded and the masterpiece washed away.
Don't speak to me of lashes and open wounds.
I know this will pass and I'll get carried away with life again.
I'm going through it.
The ringer.
The shaker.
The time in your life where you lose yourself, those strange bits that no longer serve you.
It is glorious.

Maybe it's all wrong.
Maybe I'm stubborn and completely unreasonable.
Maybe I'm even bat shit crazy for thinking that it's possible.
I don't mind being called any of those things.
Never have and this time is no different.

I'll hold on until my knuckles are bleeding and I can't feel my body.
I'll ride until the wheels fall off and then I'll drive it into the ground harder, faster.

Because this life was meant to be loved and love was meant to be lived.

Love of self.
Love of him.
Love of passions.

And if I don't love it, I leave it.

JouJou Loves You

†

2012-01-08T18:33:00.004-05:00

JouJou Loves You

† D2 †

2012-01-06T17:08:00.000-05:00

DSQUARED2

Doin'

It

So

Right

JouJou Loves You

†

2012-01-06T16:46:00.002-05:00

"I'm going to make you prance around my room like a show pony."

JouJou Loves You

† Fu'ad Ait Aattou †

2012-01-06T12:18:00.002-05:00

10,000 babies.

He's French and perfect.

Plus with names like ours...we pretty much HAVE to get married.

JouJou Loves Fu'ad

†

2012-01-06T11:12:00.002-05:00

The wrong thing led to the right.

Glass after glass, keeps the ticking at bay.
That methodical reminder that I'm alive.
Breathing.
Feeling....and at this point seething.

Blank faces.
Shrunken souls that so badly want to expand.
They repulse me.
And when I know that they want to intertwine with mine, my disdain grows.

"I hope you find what you are looking for."

"I don't know that I'm looking for anything."

"Maybe you should be."

I was wild and decadent.
Torrid and volatile.
I bounced off every desire, every whim, fancy, attraction I had and kept colliding until the want was no longer there.

Where do you draw the line between insatiable and grateful?

JouJou Loves You

†

2012-01-04T18:28:00.000-05:00

†

2012-01-04T11:22:00.003-05:00

The fire had singed every tip.
The feeling was lost, but that didn't stop him from scraping every part of himself against her trying to strike a blaze that would blow them back.

Worn down, worn out.

The light didn't shine on him like it used to.
He lost his glow and somewhere among all that fighting to be close she lost her soul.

Too strong.
Not strong enough.
Too 'perfect' to love.
Jackpots don't happen.
Lotteries are never really won.
Golden ticket.
In it to win it.
Yes.
No.

Everyone walks around looking to belong to someone when none of us will belong to anyone. Ever.
That is the truth.
The everlasting light that shines down on everything.
We so badly want to tame one another when we have the greatest gift that has ever been given to anyone.
We don't know what to do with all of the freedom.
All the possibilities, the potential.
So most of us couple up and cop out.
And when it doesn't work out, when the palace comes crashing down, and the reality of what you've been living sets in, so does the crazy.

JouJou Loves You

†

2012-01-03T15:33:00.004-05:00

"I want to be seduced. By someone that knows how, someone smart enough, strong enough. Someone that isn't completely beguiled by my beauty, someone full enough to see beyond all that bullshit and just turn me out, mind, body...soul. I mean yea...be beguiled enough but not too much. Damn it is such a fine line."

"Yea...pretty much."

"Do we have to get all 'The Secret' on this and manifest the dopest daddy we have ever known to come put it on us?"

"It would seem that way."

"Naah...f*ck all that. I'd rather just keep running wild in this jungle and see what I come across."

"Hooks just don't snare like they used to huh?"

"Do we even want them to?"

"I thought I did...now I just don't know. Can I get a best friend who I happen to be wildly attracted to who will do fun stuff with me like go shopping, read, and make pretty things together?"

"Uhh that is basically a boyfriend."

"Okay, well...I def. want one of those."

JouJou Loves You

†

2012-01-03T15:26:00.001-05:00

Came across this gem of a picture today.

The way this man can rock a suit...

Plus he says 'Darling' because he's English.

Mouth drop.

Shiet it all drops.

JouJou Loves Tom

† 2012 †

2012-01-03T11:19:00.002-05:00

New year.
Kisses from all my ladies.
Oblivious to everything else.

I turned my vision off this past Spring.
Time tells me to turn it on again.
To stand up straight and take notice.

Pretty babies like to be seen, or so I'm told.
A whittling away of all old things.
'Give yourself time to adjust...the shift in energy...'
Some stairs, then it is smoother than before.

And yet again I became attached to the outcome and again I made myself let go of it all at once.
I'm so good at letting go, didn't you know?

You're standing on 2 legs instead of 4.
You don't know it but I do.
Almost makes me wonder when you'll feel the fall.

And just like that it was done.
The year, the stories, the spaces left for faces that made us so happy for a time.
We cried together, we laughed together, we picked one another up when we didn't want to walk anymore.
We remarked at the beauty and balked at the stupidity.
Then we let it all go because we weren't Jesus and restoring sight just wasn't our bag.

Oh but we're holy...and becoming holier still.

We all have to slum it with the demons sometime baby.
Can't stay clean forever.
And shiet!
We got dirty.

JouJou Loves You

† DAMN Baby DAMN DAMN †

2011-12-22T13:16:00.000-05:00

†††††††††

2011-12-22T00:28:00.003-05:00

REPEAT†REPEAT†REPEAT

And you can be damn sure I'm attacking Fancy Baby after I press play....

Download HERE

JouJou Loves The Weeknd

†

2011-12-21T10:27:00.004-05:00

I'm no longer restless.

Hallelujah.

God is great.

(See? I love him again. A torrid affair I tell you)

It only took traveling ALL over the world nonstop for 3 years to relax.

I love America again.

I love Europe and Africa too, but they are like side hoes.

America is wifey.

I'm so ready to make a life again. To grow my roots, get deep in that soil. Cultivate my home, my friendships, my love life. I am SO grateful that I did what I did. I rode the ride, became ride or die and did everything that I wanted to.

The stories I have are....well...colorful to say the least.

I.have.lived.

That is all I have ever wanted to do.

Passionately.

With conviction.

I've been on red carpets, million dollar yachts, rode in Maybachs, MET Mr. Maybach, hour long conversations with producers of my favorite films and on and on and on.

I've also spent the night in Parisian airports, been stranded in seedy hotel rooms abroad, gone hungry (I really needed those shoes), cried myself to sleep because shiet was SO CRAY and I was SO far from home, and on and on and on.

I've made amazing decisions and done some of the most stupid things.

Trial and error baby.

I know what I like, what I love, and what I want.

No blurred lines, so f*cking defined.

I've always followed my heart even when I knew there was a possibility that I would need a new one after it was all said and done.

I don't apologize for who I am, what I am, or what I do.

I will always be a mad lover of life.

Even when I'm balled up on my bed, shaking with heartbreak.

I love it all.

I want it all.

I'll have it all.

JouJou Loves You

† Sometimes you just have to get it out then everything is A-OKAY †

2011-12-20T12:37:00.009-05:00

F*ck this place. For real.
I know things are supposed to be wild and unpredictable...but f*ck this place.
I want to go home.
I want to peace out and throw in the towel.
I'm not going to of course because I'm no b*tch ass quitter, but that doesn't mean I don't think about it to escape.
I don't feel like being positive right now.
I feel like bitching about everything that sucks.
Because sometimes it f*cking sucks and I want to punch everyone and everything in the face.
The throat too.
Dudes? -Punch in the face
Ladies?-Punch in the face
Uphill battles? -Punch in the face
Pain? -Like 40 punches in the face
I want to scream in God's face and say "I'm TIRED OKAY?!?!?!? I'm done "experiencing" things for you...so you can take your 'gift' and SHOVE IT."

Actually..I have screamed in God's face. Knock down drag out fights with that he/she person.

Honestly, if God was standing in front of me right now I would beat his f*cking ass.

And screw all you 'holy' ppl that don't like what you just read.

THIS IS MY GOD and he is WHATEVER I WANT HIM TO BE.

He would let me too. He would let me give him the ass whooping of his life because he knows it would momentarily make me feel better and afterwards he would laugh.

So f*ck you God.

Yea I said it...and I'll keep saying it until I'm done being selfish and feeling crazy..and blaming you for things that I know are not your fault at all...but you are always saying give to you what I can't handle...so THERE YOU GO. I'm taking all of my shit and dumping it on your doorstep, ringing the bell, and walking away.
Woooo!!!!!

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-12-20T11:32:00.005-05:00

I've entered a cage.

Willingly walked straight in and locked the door.

My loved ones stare at me as if I've gone mad.

I stare at me, because I know I have.

Years of roaming have pushed me so far into a corner that all I see are walls.

I do not wish to to come out.

Defeat?

No.

More like I have not been owned since back there.

Wild things have a fascination with the other side.

My need for experience, for that knowing that only comes from doing it yourself has brought me to the darkest path yet.

Every day I tread more and more shadows...he is the darkest of them all.

An adventure?

Always.

Just because something doesn't feel good doesn't mean it is bad.

My desire to lay down in the dark, with the dark, to know what it feels like has taken me so far from home and so very far from grace.

Fiend.

I shun the familiar and run to the foreign.

Eyes grow old when you look at the same thing for too long and I am forever young.

JouJou Loves You

†††

2011-12-19T19:06:00.001-05:00

†

2011-12-19T18:49:00.003-05:00

Givenchy

IF I ever get married.
(I've never been the type of girl that dreams of weddings and husbands)

High collar.

Long sleeves.

Elegance abound.

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-12-19T18:00:00.003-05:00

"We can't really judge someone's love or lust unless we start to feel it."

JouJou Loves You

† The Queen by Pablo Neruda †

2011-12-19T13:23:00.000-05:00

I have named you queen.
There are taller than you, taller.
There are purer than you, purer.
There are lovelier than you, lovelier.
But you are the queen.

When you go through the streets
No one recognizes you.
No one sees your crystal crown, no one looks
At the carpet of red gold
That you tread as you pass,
The nonexistent carpet.

And when you appear
All the rivers sound
In my body, bells
Shake the sky,
And a hymn fills the world.

Only you and I,
Only you and I, my love,
Listen to me.

JouJou Loves You

† Damn that was a party †

2011-12-19T13:11:00.001-05:00

Jesse Boykins the 3rd

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-12-19T12:43:00.000-05:00

Tattoos, Glasses, & Mustaches can GET.IT.

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-12-19T11:49:00.001-05:00

JouJou Loves Rides

†

2011-12-19T11:45:00.002-05:00

Me & you.

In Monaco.

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-12-19T11:35:00.000-05:00

†† Such a BAD BETCH ††

2011-12-19T02:19:00.007-05:00

Damn.

This is still one of my favorite spreads in the history of spreads.

(All 'Interview' mag minus the jeweled bikini...I had to throw that in there because it's jaw dropping)

Could look at this all day errrrrveryday.

Plus I'm always biased when a bad betch is born with a bad betch name.

Comme moi.

JouJou Loves Madonna

†††

2011-12-19T01:52:00.000-05:00

†

2011-12-19T00:31:00.002-05:00

"Uhhhh yea. I'm intense. It's called passion. You want a basic b*tch, you want easy, mediocre, comfortable...go somewhere else. I'll push you. Ask things of you, keep you working hard so that you'll become better and better.

No you can't relax with me.
Tippy toes always.

I expect you to do the same for me.

Loving me requires you to do so.

I want the best, then I want better.

I promise to always give you my 'better'.

You don't want that, please walk, because I'm aiming high.

You're scared, say you're scared.

I can deal with fear.

What I can't deal with are cowards."

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-12-19T00:09:00.002-05:00

Onduleux, mon désir qui monte et qui descend....

We took each other down into the dark night.

Me first...then he ran and followed.
Lower, deeper,
We owned.
Became one another's keeper.

JouJou Loves You

† Bang Bang Bang †

2011-12-13T15:33:00.004-05:00

I was the Queen of the game.
You were too into those basic bitches.
But for a time we crossed lines and flipped each others switches.

Oh baby wasn't it fun?
Didn't I make you feel tall?
Offered you a glimpse into what that world would feel like.

I hated you.
Now you hate me.
Ain't love grand?

I fell.
I'm not too proud to admit it.
Thought you were God's gift, worshiped at your altar, made you the only one.

Love mazes quickly turn into self imposed cages when loving the wrong ones.
So turn to the light, get your shit right, and drop that lover's gun.

But I don't want to.
Plain and simple.
They all tell me not to play with guns, 'You'll get hurt, maybe even murdered.'

I tell'em I'm not afraid to die.
Maybe was back then but not when looking into my lover's eyes.
But we just don't love the way we used to.
Never felt like it was supposed to.

So I take it all back.
My body, my mind.
Not my soul though.
That was never mine.

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-12-13T15:30:00.001-05:00

"And after all that world traveling...you returned only to learn that the world just wasn't big enough."

JouJou Loves You

† J'ai besoin... †

2011-12-13T15:24:00.003-05:00

Time's a tickin'
His hands keep stickin' to my sides.
Those eyes...staring down below at my white thighs.
I have no choice but to bend.

Into him, into me, as he pushes inside my endless sea.

He's not the one but he'll do for now.
Good enough to get by...
Deep enough to make this pussy meow.

'Lose yourself' he says, 'if only for one night.'

I smirk as I think about the next morning's first class flight.

Not vast enough to get lost but good looking enough to get off.

Ssssssh baby...it's time to play.
No more talk...lay back, we're about to do things my way.

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-12-02T23:17:00.002-05:00

Do or die.
Walk or try.
I'd like to see it through the end.

No I won't jump off and drink in.
I'll stay and refuse to blend.

Back at it alone.
Hunted.
All I hear are moans.
And really who can blame them?

So I brush this mane, make up these lips, bat my eyes, and start to murder again.

JouJou Loves You

† 2008-the year of Love and Hate †

2011-12-02T21:28:00.002-05:00

Times change and people rearrange. Loves lost, things gained but my heart never stays the same. Reading his old life from these pages, witnessing all of his love stages, damn the technology of today.

I'm trying to keep my soul intact. I watch the relationships unfold and spread out as I contemplate a sneak attack. Wreck his home with my fury? Damn right. Tear down his nest in a hurry.

These words I've read before. Same thing you wrote when you came knocking on MY door. Line after line, sign after sign, smacks me down...please stop I implore! You just can't find original shit anymore?

Oh yes..I know..I realize some things are hard to come by.

You can't fake the funk and you can't trick your junk..that bitch you feel next to you, well lets be honest...she just isn't me.

The color isn't right, the fit is too tight, and her eyes will never encompass my endless sea.

Now you have 'friends', the nightlife, and a full wallet, but from back here it's looking like your Wallace and she's Gromit.

But hey! I always knew you had a thing for dogs.

You couldn't help it, you had to dim me...you had to quiet my light. Couldn't let me shine, by force you had to snatch me away into your dark night.

So for a time I swam in your ocean, played your game of fake devotion, and let the tide carry me down alongside my blinding envy.

I thought you were so much more. A dance party..a walk in the park...fun in the sun. My doctor...my dealer. You stole my soul and now I'm bitter.

Not for long though, you I will purge, get myself clean and kill this urge. Night after night you come haunt me, stroke your face, feel your breath against my neck...fuck this is daunting!

I want to ignite this snuffed out fire, sell my soul, pack my bags, and make you my sire.

Do the deed,run away, be a wife, and cut out our pointless strife.

Sleep on planes, dance in Spain while we watch our love reign. See the leaning tower of Pisa, then off to scale everything in Giza.

Tal Mahal and Punjabis, then a straight shot to our Abu Dhabi. Over to Oman, lets wave to the Bahrainis, jump that ship and dance with Kuwaitis. Hand in your pants while we smoke in France cause Baby reoccurring dreams just. aint. happenstance.

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-11-27T19:52:00.004-05:00

It  was worth everything and nothing.  I could have died for it or walked  away.  The line is always so fine and I can't tightrope for shiet. 
I don't know much about the details, I got tired of keeping track and keeping score.

This is life.

No manual, no cards, and no dice.

Desire  is such a strange thing.  Makes people do THE craziest shiet.  Pushes  you to the edge..how far will we go?  Who has the stamina to keep up,  maintain, or even surpass the line?  You've got to be one cool  mothafucka and Baby...I'm ice cold.  

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-11-27T17:49:00.004-05:00

Highest bidder.
Look at that winner.
Damn I wish this was the only one.

Too many faces trying to reserve their spaces,
It is I that says how and which one.

If I spoke of my dark secrets,
how separate I like to keep it,
I'd most likely need a gun.

Selling and slanging,
riding and banging,
All we've ever done was live for the 'fun'....

But I'd like to go home now.

JouJou Loves You

† 2011 †

2011-11-27T16:26:00.007-05:00

Dancing until they turn the lights on, too many drinks, teetering in 6 inch suede booties, waking up in a panic because I overslept and going out into the world still a drunk beautiful mess, late night dinners with filled up wine glasses that never emptied, sitting on ginormous planters in parking lots crying, shunning foreign men trying to give me cigarettes, sleeping until I just couldn't sleep anymore, crying until I just couldn't cry anymore, laughing until I just couldn't laugh anymore, cold NYC streets alone, with the musician, Brooklyn nights in abandoned lofts getting blazed until I was numb again, first shooting star on the roof with a best friend overlooking the city, running to Wall street to find comfort in the sweetest boy that ever lived, running away to Paris to forget Christmas, running away to London to forget Paris, running home to forget it all, quiet nights with sister, furry chirren, hopping planes, forget trains to come back to that other home, jumping into his arms like a monkey because I loved him almost immediately, hot Miami nights, fooling doctors to get meds because I just had to party that night, dancing in Austin cages while I waited, seeing familiar strangers on the street while I prayed that my phone would work, drinking drinking drinking drinking, drunk drunk drunk drunk, dancing like a wild woman while Manu Chao played the best concert ever with the most beautiful people I've ever known, missing her always but knowing that she is as close as ever, secret phone calls from Coco via Mexico, late night phone calls saying they're going to steal me away, too many cupcakes on that special day, watching the snow fall as I mended the broken bits, CHAMPAGNE FRIDAYS!!!!, concert nights with Chi dancing until my toes ached, Skype chats with Nar as we tried to make sense of the crazy, Coffee dates with Cher while we both fell so deeply in love, getting so blazed with Whit while Bouv forced himself on me and love raped me, Adrian dancing like a madman on the tabletop of Winston's showstopping the whole time, hand feeding Amish his mother's samosas as we sang Jeff Buckley together, pretending like I was going to fling myself off the 14th story balcony and feeling so right about it, forcing Matt to lay on the floor and be lovesick with me, fully nude gutter stip clubs in Miami whilst wearing $5,000 bespoke suits, being greeted at the airport on Cinco de Mayo by Madsy and feeling so right about everything, winter walks at Versailles while I wondered about America, solo walks in Chelsea while I still wondered about America, making a mess, cleaning the mess, feeling like the mess is even bigger, jumping into the biggest abyss I have ever known and throwing the most precious possession I own into the pot. My heart.

I play to win.
Sometimes I lose.
Those times are rare.
Soul death.
By your hands or mine.
We always live again.

JouJou Loves You

†††

2011-11-26T18:32:00.000-05:00

I want to make wild, crazy love. I want to worship and pine.

I want my bed to be soiled and ransacked with the embers of your love......my love. I want my perfume to linger on your fingertips making you dizzy and stumbling about. I want to tame and tether...I need you to do the same. Never afraid to say no, but always want to say yes. You'll live free and so will I, we shall always meet halfway...and when you need me to, I'll go the full distance.

Prends moi. Maintenant.

Ahhh to be drunk with love and desire. Such a winding staircase.. taking us up and down.

To own and possess, push and pull, staggers us all, leaving everything at love's helm.

I'm at your helm....

Do as you wish....

Be gentle, yet bold. Kind, yet unforgiving....but always on our side.

Stand your ground and I'll never leave.

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-11-26T17:10:00.002-05:00

"I want you, in the hour of pain and suffering...

in the hour of pleasure and ecstasy....

and every moment that passes in between."

-Mine

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-11-26T15:37:00.004-05:00

"Why him?  Why does he get all of your love?"

"This is the first time I refuse to jeopardize a relationship in lieu of just throwing myself into blind hedonism. For once I am aware of a man's existence, of his feelings before my own.  I've always wondered if that would ever happen to me.  If such a soul existed. He does exist and I am lucky enough that he loves me back."

The person on the other end scoffs.

"Of course he does.  That has never been a problem for you and you know that."

"See...he even humbles me. Oh and he f*cks like a Titan."

"I hate him."

"I love him."

Dial tone.

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-11-26T15:32:00.002-05:00

Different.

He took a wrong turn down a dark path full of monsters and wild animals. Everything is mixed up...turned upside down...shaken.

"You can't make something into what it aint!"

You can't take things back.

You hit a certain point and eyes change. Glaze over.

Heart hardens...frozen over.

Steady. Steady gets things done. Unconnected allows focus.

You get connected and wires cross, then the crazy comes out.

Stuck between two walls. Only one way out.

Jump over.

This one liked options. One way roads never pleased him.

'No training for ticking time bombs?! Sorry dear boy..."

BOOM!

Shit is everywhere and they are both left standing looking at the other. Who is going to clean up the mess this time? Then comes the lashing out. Cleaning up messes always makes them lash out.

It is war out here and anything goes! Knives, guns, bombs, bazookas, grenades!

Horrible, horrible people. Slowly killing one another...both watching as life slips away. Last breaths are taken. They don't even attend the service.

They're all fools. Every last one of them.

I wrote that exactly one year ago while I was living in NYC.
What a ride.

JouJou Loves You

† Just because it might be the best song EVER †

2011-11-25T21:57:00.000-05:00

†

2011-11-25T20:53:00.003-05:00

The past is what makes me weak.
I'm not talking about 5 years ago.
15 years ago.

I'm speaking of the lives before lives past.
It takes hold and shakes.
I'm possessed.
No more, no less.

Past life lovers make time hover.
I'm floating while pacing.
Eyes meet, our mouths greet, then my mind goes racing.

To that space in time back there.
'I've missed you,' spills out from my lips and I tumbled to pull it back so that you wouldn't hear.

Clouds invade my person.
Fog covers all His creation.
And I'm running.

Fascinated.
Elevated.
Palpitated.
More wild than ever before.

Keep me?
Yes, I'd like that.
Immensely.
I'll stay.
Only with you.
It's gotta be you.
If it isn't you...then who?

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-11-25T18:09:00.000-05:00

"Freeze your blood then stab it into me."

-B

JouJou Loves You

† Mind F*cked †

2011-11-25T17:32:00.000-05:00

The Weeknd - The Knowing (Official Video) from xoxxxoooxo on Vimeo.

† XVII †

2011-11-25T17:22:00.002-05:00

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this:

where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

By Pablo Neruda

JouJou Loves O

† That face, that hair... †

2011-11-25T15:44:00.003-05:00

JouJou Loves You

† ONRA †

2011-11-25T15:43:00.001-05:00

†

2011-11-24T17:17:00.001-05:00

† Yessir †

2011-11-24T17:04:00.001-05:00

"I love it I love it I love it when you eat it...."

-Rihanna

JouJou Loves You

† Hey Hey HEY †

2011-11-22T20:11:00.002-05:00

I just BLOGGED BOMBED you cause it's been a minute!!!!!!!

I know I know...I missed you too.

JouJou Loves You

† Mmmmm †

2011-11-22T20:00:00.000-05:00

†

2011-11-22T19:51:00.005-05:00

"Flashbacks of the past.
Premonitions of the future.
Looking down at all these war wounds has me picking at my sutures.

Then he calls me at 5am before he walks through that dream door.
Tellin' me he's going to wife me up, make us both say 'Forever More'

I laugh and giggle, cause that voice be makin' me scream and wiggle.

Raw and honest with me.
He trusts me with the truth, we've both come a long way from feeding each other excuse after excuse..."

JouJou Loves You

† Paris, back then †

2011-11-22T19:37:00.003-05:00

"I remember driving through the streets of Paris with you.
I wasn't in love, I was barely in like...but you were.
Handsome, rich, talented..all of the things I thought a girl should have.
You tried so very hard to nurse me back to health.
Doting upon me, feeding me, whisking me away wherever my broken heart desired.

Versailles for the day, Casablanca to play...

I remember passing the Seine, it was raining.
You asked me if I could fall in love.with you.in Paris.
I so badly wanted to say yes but I would have been lying so I said nothing and feigned a smile.

If only you could see how far I've fallen into his abyss.

Now Paris seems so faraway and I'm landlocked in love.
There are times I would like to run away again and live in limbo within the city of lights.

With him.
The one that houses my heart.

One moment you're forgetting you were ever in love, then someone comes along and it is all you can think about.

Paris creates past, present, future all in one forceful blow that leaves you empty and full all at the same time.

It is truth and lies.

Crimes with already cleared alibis."

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-11-22T19:35:00.000-05:00

He evokes emotion.

Especially when he dips in my ocean....

JouJou Loves You

† I love you †

2011-10-23T20:30:00.002-04:00

†

2011-10-23T19:05:00.002-04:00

This absence.
This nothingness.
This blank sheet that insists upon following my footsteps...
Will bring about my demise.

I shall end.
The soot will be blown away, but my eyes will remain.
With my death so shall this pain cease to torment and slay me.
Never in my life have I wanted to draw such distinct lines.

Chambers in my heart.
Blocked off. Taped up. Locked in.
I don't stop drinking until the ticking stops.
Until the taste of you becomes non-existent.
Until I almost forget that I had a life before I knew you were here on this plane with me.

Fuck the past.
Fuck your name.
Fuck this flame.

I'm weak.
I'm exposed.
Stretched open, ready and waiting.

You've turned me into a woman.
You've made me loyal.
You've made me remember who I've always been when I've been trying my hardest to forget.

Ça.fait.MAL.

JouJou Loves You

†††

2011-10-22T15:38:00.007-04:00

"He was a high roller.
I called him Whale just to get his goat.

"Does it not mean the same thing?"

"Yes, but you say it with such malice and vulgarity."

"I'm vulgar and malice is subject to opinion."

He was beautiful and he knew it which made me want to backhand him.
Jet black hair, skin the color of sand, and a walk that made me stop blowing on my dice to watch him from across the room.
He was watching me too and considering the way my gown fit that night, I couldn't blame him.
My eyebrow raised.
'Damn,' I thought.
An involuntary move when my interest was peaked.
That familiar feeling of trouble returned and I welcomed it with excitement and a head shake.

A tux with an over sized bowtie.
God he had it, what I wanted...he.had.it.

We kept eye contact as I threw my dice.
I exhaled.
He smiled.
I won.

In a blink he was at my side, helping me with my winnings.
I said nothing, just maintained my smirk.
"Mademoiselle, you are glorious."

"That tie is glorious."

He quietly chuckled.

"I'm Toufik."

"Of course you are," I said as I shook my head.

Puzzled, he cocked his head to the side.

"You've known a Toufik before?"

"Ooh have I."

"You speak in riddles. I don't understand, but I like it."

"Why don't you walk with me to cash in?"

"I would be honored."

Had I known what 'cash in' really meant my life would have stayed sane."

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-10-22T14:39:00.004-04:00

I was born old.
It took 3 dead clocks to learn what youth was.
Time was in revolt as was I with life.

Country after country, heart after heart.
Unfamiliar tongues saying things that I had yet to understand.
Names, faces, and hands.
We made plans.
Then broke them.
I had to go it alone.
I had to know what it was like.
Wandering the city streets in silence.
The cold, the wet, hot breath as wolves passed by.

The winds blew me farther than I thought.
So far that 'home' would no longer exist.
Until you.
There in your eyes would reside every comfort I could ever imagine, but also every uncomfortable question that I would be forced to ask myself.
The kind of balance that gives birth.
The kind of love that changes lives.

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-10-22T14:31:00.000-04:00

†

2011-10-22T14:05:00.004-04:00

Every time I get an "I'm in love with you." message on FB from complete strangers I chuckle at the craziness.

Though, you have to hand it to them...it is a little endearing.

People think they want love, they think they feel love, but so very few know what it takes to keep love.

And when you have it, when you truly have that heart pounding, tense your body up, dizzying, whirlwind kind of love, there is only one question you must ask yourself.

Am I brave enough to do what it takes to keep love?

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-10-21T14:08:00.003-04:00

"Tu aime torturer les hommes ."

'Oui, quelque fois.'

"J'espere que tu trouvera quelqu'un qui connait ta valeur..."

JouJou Loves You

† Je t'aime †

2011-10-21T12:13:00.000-04:00

† OMFG †

2011-10-21T12:02:00.000-04:00

†††

2011-10-19T11:41:00.003-04:00

"You're Medusa."

'What?'

"Medusa, you know the woman/thing that mesmerizes men then turns them to stone."

'That's funny. This isn't the first time I've been called that'

"I don't understand how one woman can be so saintly and villainous all at the same time."

'You take my honesty for villainy?'

"I don't think you mean to torment, but it happens nonetheless."

'Do I torment you?'

"Terribly so. The ache that accompanies you is both gratifying and horrid. A beautiful woman who refuses to be tamed is a dangerous thing."

"Rubbish. Every woman can be tamed. Every.single.one. A certain man of a certain predestined caliber comes along and vanquishes everything that came before him. I've seen it happen time and time again my friend. Those wild ones, the savage cats that pretend that they love the jungle? Those are ones that desire it the most."

"So...?"

'So what?'

"Has that one come along?"

'Yes and that is all that needs to be said.'

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-10-19T11:29:00.002-04:00

"They're just a number trying to be added to my phone.
They say they want to be friends, but I know they're trying to bone."

-things that are said during girl talk

JouJou Loves You

† L'homme †

2011-10-19T11:19:00.003-04:00

Close.
But not close enough.
Revelations.
But not revealed.

And yet he still governs me.
Possesses.
Dictates rhythms.
Houses hopes.
Concocts dreams.

He speaks.
I listen.
He molds.
I bend.
He breaks.
I mend.

JouJou Loves You

† Ay Chico †

2011-10-19T11:15:00.001-04:00

Even bloody and brutal, still sexxxy.

I always like the bad guy.
Lets face it, they get shiet done.

JouJou Loves You

† Mine †

2011-10-19T11:13:00.001-04:00

A shot from the burlesque show Friday night.

JouJou Loves Garters

†

2011-10-19T10:16:00.002-04:00

"The longer the hair, the more he goona wanna bang."

I like to change lyrics to rap songs.

JouJou Loves Rick Ross

† Addicted †

2011-10-09T19:19:00.001-04:00

†

2011-10-09T18:34:00.003-04:00

Weezy said it best:

"Bitch ass Ni**a, Pussy ass Ni**a....."

JouJou Loves You

†

2011-09-24T14:42:00.002-04:00

If you're close to me, you know why this picture is so damn hilarious.

JouJou Loves You